The Parkland Walk is a walk in north London, London. It wasn’t always a walk though, as in the past it was a train – a railway line, that is. This four and a half mile stretch includes visions of bizarre stone elves, dilapidated bridges, wonderful abandoned stations, adventure playgrounds and mud. A lot of mud. In the future, all railway lines will look like this.

The first thing you notice about TPW is the paucity of anything resembling a retail experience. There is not one branch of either Rymans or Holland & Barretts along the route. Your Cafe Nero loyalty cards are worthless here. You know those Threshers vouchers your friend emailed you and printed out at work? They became invalid over a year ago, so you shouldn’t still have them in your bag anyway.